I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
