just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you didnt know i had herpes?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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