i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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