I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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