Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
