so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
