oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
