He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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