I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize