Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
