this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
