i just wanna soil my oats bro
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
