hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
