She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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