I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
