Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
