I hate all girls vehemently.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
