i think my tv is drunk
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
