come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
