i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
