East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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