Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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