I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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