I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
mondays should just be called national damage control day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
