Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
