i jhust puked up my retainher.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
