I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
