when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize
