Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
