And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
