Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
