The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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