Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
