I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
