Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
