spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
