I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
