Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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