Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
