there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
