I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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