She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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