Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize