omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
