If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Drake has all the answers
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
