called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
