I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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