I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
