The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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