Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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