Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Too much gin, very little bucket
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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