gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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