I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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