I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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