kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
pray to the hookup gods
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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