I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
