You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
