I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
