Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
