When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
