Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
