You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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