it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
